Why your child throws tantrums after you set limits: Psychologist explains

When we take up parenting, we ensure to give the best to our children. Bringing up our children is an extremely fulfilling process. However, parenting can be challenging at times as well. While we learn to give them a happy childhood which they can cherish in the later stages of life, we also need to remember to instill in them life lessons and values that they can practice in their adult years, and adult relationships. One of the most important lessons to teach our children is how to respect limits and boundaries. While they need to learn to put boundaries for themselves, with it, they must also learn to never cross the boundaries of others. Addressing this, Psychologist Jazmine McCoy wrote, “As parents, it’s our job to set respectful limits and our kids are allowed to not like them.”

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However, when we put boundaries, it is okay for the kids to not like them, or try to cross them. The Psychologist further explained why children throw tantrums after we set limits for them:

Disappointment: Children can feel angry and disappointed when they do not get the things that they want. They also have a difficult time accepting that they and their parents want two different things, and it is not allowed to them.

Disconnect: As parents, we always feel the importance to connect to our kids. However, at times, it is not possible. When they throw tantrums, deep down it is the signal for the urge of connecting with us. In those situations, we should learn to carefully set limits, all the while trying to connect with them.

Testing limits: Children often throw tantrum and disapprove the limits set by their parents as an act of testing the limits. They want to test if parents can change their mind if they cry or throw tantrums.

Upset: Children are allowed to be upset. However, positive parenting includes having a plan after setting the limits.