Why are our grown children so upset over our divorce?

From the writings of the Rev. Billy Graham

Q: My husband and I have agreed that while we were once in love, we have fallen out of love and agreeably are ending our marriage. Divorce is easier these days than when my parents divorced when I was little, but I’ve been surprised how upset our grown children are. – C.D.

A: Genuine love is not based on feelings but the fact of commitment. The question for couples is not how they feel about each other on a given day, but whether husbands and wives will remain committed to loving one another through thick and thin. When commitment is set aside, love often dies.

Our culture puts feelings first, but true love isn’t based on feelings. That is why there are so many divorces today. When the early romantic feelings in a marriage do not remain constant, the idea of divorce seems to creep in. Often people go on a search to find someone else that can rekindle good feelings. Some people marry many times, in constant search of a “high” that can never be maintained.

Marriage is a sacred vow between husband and wife, and it is worth keeping. It’s a serious matter to break a vow. Every couple should do everything possible to keep a marriage together by seeking wise counsel. But most of all, it is important for each person in the marriage to commit themselves first to God, for He will bring honor to those who honor Him in their marriage and home.

One of the hardest things for people to say to one another is “I’m sorry.” But it is often the first step to restoring a relationship. The marriage relationship was established by God and is a gift from Him, and it is to be honored. God will give couples the ability to love one another when they first love Him and obey Him in all things.

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(This column is based on the words and writings of the late Rev. Billy Graham.)

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