The item Bay Area Tiki bars constantly have to replace

It’s not just Trader Vic’s — every Bay Area Tiki bar I surveyed identified with the issue. Bargoers just can’t seem to stop stealing, especially around the holidays, a particularly busy time of year for Tiki bars.

“We used to have these big huge ceramic ships we served our Top Notch Volcanoes in,” recalled Smuggler’s Cove general manager Christopher Ward. “… I think it probably weighed 6 to 8 pounds. … And this guy walked out with it, with his jacket over his arm like he was a steward on a 1950s yacht or something.”

Ward caught the culprit, and the ceramic ship was returned safely, but bar staff doesn’t always get so lucky. 

“[Some glasses] that we serve in are irreplaceable,” said Michael Thanos, owner of Alameda bar Forbidden Island. “… Unfortunately, we had a run of custom-made volcano bowls that were made by Munktiki, which is one of the more boutique mug-makers out there in the Tiki scene, and they were completely swiped to the very last one.”

Even when Tiki glassware can be replaced, it can be very expensive to do so — glasses typically cost between $5 to $25 each wholesale. Regular cocktail glassware, though less enticing to nab than a cutesy puffer fish mug, is getting more expensive to replace as well. The bulbous snifters they use at Smuggler’s Cove now cost $3.79 a piece, according to Ward.

Though it’s not a Tiki bar, Pacific Cocktail Haven may see the most sticky fingers of all. That’s because for five weeks a year, it transforms into a Christmas cocktail pop-up bar called Miracle, with all sorts of festive glasses people love to swipe. 

“I’m spending probably like $500 to $1,000 a week on replacing glassware,” said Pacific Cocktail Haven owner Kevin Diedrich. “It does eat into the margin a bit.” 

This year’s SantaCon was a particularly big night for swiping Santa mugs. Diedrich even caught one person attempting to smuggle out a few glasses in her Santa hat. When he asked her to return them, she claimed she thought she was allowed to keep them. 

“When 20% of your night is policing people like you’re a babysitter, that can be very exhausting on the staff,” Diedrich said. 

Glassware isn’t even the only item people steal (or at least try to). One time, someone made off with Pacific Cocktail Haven’s capacity sign stuffed down their pants. Another stole a priceless decorative war club from Smuggler’s Cove, as covered by ABC7. At SF institution the Tonga Room, some people have attempted to pry masks and other pieces of art off the walls after a few too many mai tais. 

To cut down on some of the opportunity for theft, Miracle at PCH has started holding driver’s licenses for the bar’s most popular glass to steal: a green T. rex wearing a Santa hat. Bargoers can’t reclaim their ID until the mug has been safely returned, although “you’d be amazed how many licenses we get at the end of the night,” Diedrich said. 

One might assume putting all the glassware up for sale would help deter thieves, but that’s not always the case. Trader Vic’s, the Tonga Room, Forbidden Island and Smuggler’s Cove all sell their Tiki glassware — and all experience theft. Pacific Cocktail Haven sells every Miracle glass for $12 to $24, with a percentage going to charity, but even that doesn’t stop people. 

“We made these etiquette posters that are recommendations that we’d like people to adhere to every year,” Diedrich said (rule No. 1 is “Please don’t steal our stuff”). “But apparently people don’t read signs or they just don’t care. I’d say pretty much all night people are stealing glasses.” 

At Forbidden Island, glassware theft grew so out of hand that it decided to ditch most of it altogether years ago. 

“We definitely opened with the intention of having different Tiki glassware for different cocktails and definitely realized in short order that was not going to work,” Thanos said. 

Now, Forbidden Island mostly only serves shared cocktails in the eye-catching Tiki glassware, with the requirement that one person’s ID is held until the scorpion bowl is returned. The only exception is if you order the Forbidden Island cocktail, which comes in a special Tiki mug you can take home for $40 total. Thanos estimated this approach has about a 90% success rate in preventing theft. 

Still, other Bay Area bars can’t even bear to consider switching to more run-of-the-mill glassware. 

“It’s more important to us to stick to our brand and have the high-quality products, and we just eat the cost if we have to, so we can provide those for everybody,” said Norris at Trader Vic’s. 

So, why do people do it, anyway? What makes the tropical-themed glassware so inherently stealable?

“People, when they’re having a great time, and they’re with friends and family, they want a memento,” said Tonga Room spokesperson Michelle Heston. “… I don’t think people think necessarily that they’re stealing something. I think they’re thinking, this is a great memento, and I want to take this home.”

In some cases, Forbidden Island owner Thanos said he’s spotted their rarer custom Tiki bowls end up for sale on eBay. But usually, the reason for swiping seems somewhat less sinister.

“You get a couple of drinks, and you’re in a really great environment,” Ward said. “And when that happens, the most mundane things suddenly take on this magical allure. Because otherwise, why would anybody take something that’s clearly had sticky liquid in it?”

It might not seem like a big deal for one glass to walk out of the bar, but when it happens frequently, it adds up. Diedrich explained that at the beginning of every week, he has to restock hundreds of glasses that are missing from the weekend.

“We want everyone to have a great experience, and so when people take those items from us, it lessens the experience potentially for the next person,” Norris said. “And if people want Tiki bars in general … to stay around, then you can’t take things from us.”

When asked what he’d like to say to people who steal from his bar, Diedrich put it more bluntly.

“They kind of ruin it for everybody,” he said.