Michael B. Jordan Fends Off Eager ‘SNL’ Ladies in Debut Monologue

Actor, Creed III director, and single man Michael B. Jordan was approached by several Saturday Night Live cast members during his monologue, each angling for a hookup…or more.

“My name is Michael B. Jordan, but tonight, ‘Michael B. Hosting. Michael B. Joking. And honestly, Michael B. Nervous. Michael B. Vulnerable,’” he opened, before mentioning his recent breakup. “Everyone thought I was so heartbroken,” he said, thanks in part to a picture of him at a basketball game looking dour.

“Look, I was just chilling. But the internet decided that that was me being sad,” he said. He lucked out, he explained, because the vast majority of Google image results for “sad Michael Jordan” are of the meme of former Chicago Bulls star Michael Jordan shedding tears at his 2009 NBA Hall of Hame induction speech.

A fawning and ditzy Chloe Fineman then came up to Jordan, asking, “Could you remind me how to spell your number?” Before he could answer, in swooped Heidi Gardner, who claimed she had a Creed poster in her room — “wall, ceiling, printed onto a body pillow, whatever.”

Then came Ego Nwodim in a bridal gown and veil. “I didn’t even know you were out here,” she joked. “I was taking a walk around the studio and I just threw this on. Oh my God, is this my wedding dress?”

Punkie Johnson, in her third season on SNL, followed. When Jordan asked if she was gay, she confirmed that she was. “But you’re Michael B. Jordan,” she said, “and I’m Punkie B. Curious.”