Ask the Pediatrician: How do I help my child heal after a stressful experience?

Going through something stressful — losing a loved one, being bullied or even the wear and tear of constant small stressors — can affect a child for years in sometimes unexpected ways.

The good news is that your child can heal and grow through these stressful experiences without long-term effects on health. And in the process of helping them do this, you can build an even closer relationship with them.

After an extremely stressful experience, children may feel that they are “broken.” They may feel that something is wrong with them, or that they are just “bad.”‘ It can be helpful to remind your child they did nothing to deserve what happened to them, that they are having normal reactions to an abnormal experience and that the experience may have hurt them, but healing is possible.

Safe, supportive, nurturing relationships can make all the difference for a child who is struggling through something stressful. Try these relationship-building activities with your child:

— When possible, reassure your child that they are safe. You can do this with words, but also with hugs, high-fives and with practical supports like a tent in their room or a “cozy corner.”

— Take 15 minutes without cellphones to follow their lead in an activity of their choice.

— Share activities such as walking, cooking, dancing and playing silly games.

— Tell your child what you love about them.

— Listen intently to what they are saying.

— Build routines such as reading a bedtime story or having dinner together every night.

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