Before there was “The Waterboy,” there was Canteen Boy, a socially awkward man-child with an abiding love for water and the outdoors and, for some reason, the ability to summon snakes at will. The predecessor to Adam Sandler’s cinematic ragin’ Cajun made his debut in 1993, but the character’s most infamous appearance would happen a year later, in a Valentine’s Day episode hosted by then-spouses Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger. In “Canteen Boy and the Scout Master,” Canteen Boy (who, again, is a grown man) must fend off the amorous advances of a scoutmaster (Baldwin) who won’t take no for an answer. Nuzzling an obviously mortified Canteen Boy, the scoutmaster takes off his shirt, licks Canteen Boy’s fingers, and invites him to play Truth or Dare before grinding against him underneath their shared sleeping bag.
The sketch was immediately notorious, so much so that when Baldwin returned to host later in 1994, Canteen Boy was the subject of his monologue. Condemnation of the Canteen Boy sketch was so swift and unequivocal, according to Baldwin, that he and Sandler have decided to take a politically correct version of it on the road to schools and churches, one where Canteen Boy’s name is changed to Proudly Bisexual Canteen Person, and the scoutmaster seeks consent before initiating contact. While the monologue is clearly a joke, subsequent broadcasts of the original sketch included a preface read by James Downey, reiterating that Canteen Boy is indeed a grown able-bodied man and not a child or developmentally disabled.
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