When we are constantly in the need of pleasing people around us, we often get exhausted for how low we keep ourselves in our own priority list. The fact that many of us have been brought up in dysfunctional homes with caregivers who didn’t validate our emotional needs, made us asking for the approval of people constantly in our adult relationships. This further makes us become people pleasers, and not be aware of the things that we need to do for our own mental peace. However, with time, as we learn to navigate through such emotional trauma, we learn to put ourselves first and our own emotions ahead of everything else. This makes us have awareness about things that we are feeling. But how do we know if we are having an awakening? Psychotherapist Nicole LePera explains:
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Energy: We no longer focus on doing small talk, rather we focus on the energy that the person brings with them. We prefer to be around people with energy that is healthy for us. We also like to spend time alone and focus on our own emotions and well-being.
Conditioned belief: from childhood, we grow a belief of love that looks like a fairytale. This makes us seek the same in reality and get disappointed. Having an awakening also ensures that we focus on the opportunities to grow, evolve and learn to invest in ourselves.
Trauma: We start to see the generational trauma that exists in the family – we learn to call a spade a spade. Once we see it, we can choose to break the cycle and be the one that heals it, and ensure that we do not pass it to the next generation.
Societal norms: We start to focus on how to stay out of societal norms that are dipped in dysfunction. We prefer to not be a part of such norms.
Untrue: We start to realise that we may have been believing a lot of things that are untrue. We learn to unlearn them.
Autopilot: When we deal with trauma for a long time, we tend to get into autopilot mode. Awakening ensures that we look back at the past and know that we have been in autopilot mode, and yet did the best that we could do.
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