No relationship is perfect. Every relationship has its own share of ups and downs. But when we find a person, we are in love with and they feel safe and secure to us, we take the effort to go the extra mile in making things work out. However, every relationship should have space for grey – the space where we feel things more than the other person or we do not feel anything at all. “It is so important to ensure we are managing our expectations of relationships and remembering that they won’t always be perfect, but that we do want them to feel safe, healthy, and secure a majority of the time,” wrote Therapist Elizabeth Fedrick as she explained what a safe and secure relationship feels like.
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Safety is one of the primary emotions that we should feel when we are with our partner. “Safety is one of the most crucial aspects of a healthy relationship and is truly the foundation for intimacy and connection,” Elizabeth further added. The expert shared a few signs of what it feels to be safe with someone:
Sense of calm: one of the primary signs of being safe around someone is when we feel we are at peace and the nervous system is regulated.
Authentic self: We do not feel the need to pretend. Instead, we are willing to show up in our authentic self and embrace how we are without the fear of being judged or shamed.
Experimenting: We are open to experimenting and trying out new things with the person.
Experiences: We no longer hide our past trauma – instead we can be open about them and discuss how we feel about them.
Insecurities: Be it physical, mental or emotional, we no longer hide our insecurities from the other person. Instead, they urge to address them.
Boundaries: They respect the boundaries we have and are willing to follow that.
Feedback: When feedback or criticism comes from their end, we do not get offended, instead we take it as suggestions coming from a place of love.
Sharing: We feel the desire to share everything with them – from highs and lows to everything in between.
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