I’d like to thank reader Ruth Edwards for the following: “You may be interested in two new (to me anyway) examples of execrable corporate English. We used to copy people in on an email, which is ugly enough, but a correspondent recently wrote: ‘Thanks for sighting me in on this.’
“Another recent correspondent, inevitably, was ‘reaching out’ with the aim of ‘finding some time in the diary for a discussion’. (The diary? Picking a time for a discussion is going to involve at least two people’s diaries.)
“It got worse. He wanted to ‘discuss how [his company] is working within your vertical’. I presume he meant sell some stuff.” Execrable is indeed the word, but I’m seldom surprised by corporate speak any longer. Send that man back to school.
Talking of which, Peter Robertson sent me the newsletter from the school his grandson attends: “Next week in Year 3 we will be editing and uplevelling our setting descriptions using the toolkit.”
Oh dear, so it’s not just the corporate world – even teachers are getting in on the act now. I think they, of all professions, should know better than to use such a grotesque word and fear what others horrors their charges are being exposed to.
Let us move swiftly on to Michael Yorke: “Today, I received a questionnaire from the London Film Festival. It asked me to note that completion of reply boxes marked with an ‘asterix’ was compulsory.” Makes me wonder whether the guilty party was educated at the school above.
Returning briefly to pre-prepared, which I discussed some weeks ago. Nigel Forde writes: “My favourite is pre-grated cheese, which I will always maintain means a block of cheese.” I think you may be on to something there, Mr Forde.
Finally, what are we to make of a sign that appeared in Tim Barker’s local Co-op: “Only assisted dogs are permitted.” That one’s got me completely stumped.
Email Jonathan.bouquet@observer.co.uk
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