‘Brutal’ dating act single parents guilty of

In an Instagram video on Wednesday, Perth-based relationship expert and professional matchmaker Louanne Ward said that while anyone who has kids will always put them first, they shouldn’t use them as an “excuse” to avoid spending time with you.

“What I am going to share is a brutal truth about dating tactics [single parents] use and the excuse for poor behaviour. Of course, this isn’t directed at all single parents, but you know if and when you are guilty of this, and you certainly know when you have been at the receiving end,” Ms Ward wrote in the clip’s caption.

“Just because you have children doesn’t mean you get to use them as a convenient excuse to breadcrumb someone.”

Breadcrumbing is the term for the dating act where someone will drop small signs of interest, without ever actually following through. The so-called “breadcrumbs” are the actions that underpin being lead on.

“Yes, your children should always come first. But, your responsibilities and commitments are not a licence for everything to revolve around you,” she continued.

“Dating is a two-way street; having children may make it harder for you but don’t expect others to accept your crumbs. You have to put in equal effort in other ways.”

She further explained in the accompanying video that if someone “keeps saying to you, ‘oh, my kids come first’, then know that this is very much a convenient excuse for them to breadcrumb you with a legitimate reason to do just that”.

If someone feels the constant need to “continuously tell you or point out to you that their kids come first”, they’re using them as an excuse, Ms Ward concluded, to have “everything their own way rather than put in the required amount of effort to date someone”.

“Someone will always find room to connect with you even if they can’t go out on dates every second night,” she said.

“They will put in the adequate amount of time and effort required – whether they have or haven’t got kids.”