Dear Amy: Like a lot of people these days, my adult children and many of my friends are spread out all over the country. I try to stay in touch with them by making short trips to visit them.
These trips are usually four or five days (two days of which are travel days) and include the expenses of airfare, accommodations, entertainment, pet sitting, etc.
I have a close friend I have met in various locations for vacations, and the last three times, she has brought a friend or family member along (at her expense) without telling me in advance.
Her one friend was a very high-maintenance stranger (to me) who now shows up on all of my photos from our vacation to Yosemite. Her presence totally affected the dynamic.
Another time, she invited her adult son along, again without telling me.
My kids also do this, inviting other family members or friends over during my visits.
I appreciate the desire to be one big happy group, but I would like to just have some alone time with them. It would be great if they would have enough consideration to at least ask if I would mind.
I would never do such a thing without at least talking to the person first before inviting people over.
Going forward before booking, I am supposed to ask, “Who else is going to be there?”
– Crowded Out
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